And Their Lives Were Chaos
by Mistoffeleesgirl892
Summary: A bunch of random, not in order, and possibly not even in the same storyline drabbles of our favorite supernatural couple. Smile, laugh, cry, or just scratch your head (lots of that) at the auditorially inspired adventures of Beetlejuice and Lydia!
1. Chapter 1

**My Life Would Suck Without You-Kelly Clarkson**

It really should have been more disturbing to her than it was. He was dead, she was alive: she was pretty sure what they were doing was illegal in every state and most countries. But, it's not like he was a slowly rotting corpse or anything. She wasn't even sure his body was physical at all. It probably really was some weird amalgamation of ectoplasm and genetic leftovers and his powers like he said it was. Not that it mattered. He didn't seem to mind the fact that she was still alive slowed them down a lot or anything, so why should his being a ghost bother her now, when it never had before? And the fact that she couldn't imagine her messed up crazy life without his messed up crazy self in it didn't hurt her opinion of her ghostly boyfriend either. How often had he talked her out of that bottle of pills? How often had she saved his ass in the Neitherworld's courts? They were fucked up beyond any recognition and all that was holy, but for them, it worked, and that was enough.

**Topsy Turvy-Family Force 5**

He'd never regretted agreeing to take her to the Neitherworld with him. Even though he found most of it boring, he enjoyed her reactions to the strange realm, and she just enjoyed the place. The 'monsters' that were spirits denying reality as much as they possibly could, the crazy and juvenile environment that it was partially his responsibility to propagate, even the disgusting conditions of the place. He'd told her there were other parts, nicer, darker, more normal, but she'd wanted to come here, so here it was. And as long as she loved it, he'd stay and continue to cause chaos, just for her.

**Bad Boyfriend-Garbage**

He really was a terrible influence on her. She swore like a sailor whenever someone cut her off in traffic, her grades had sunk to well below sea level, and he'd thought she was going to kill him, again, after the punishment her parents had dished out when they caught her smoking…but she never stayed mad at him for very long, and when her photography managed to get her a great scholarship at a ritzy school, her parents figured her broody misbehavior was a muse and let her alone for a while. So when they got kicked out of the dorms for being to noisy at night, and Lydia had to actually convince _him_ to break in to steal back their security deposit, he couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself, and a lot more worried about where she was headed than he had been when she was fourteen.

**Let It Die-Three Days Grace**

She couldn't believe it was actually over. They'd been together for years, first as friends, then as lovers, and then as husband and wife. Somewhere though, something had gotten lost in the shuffle. Between her parents dying in that car accident and passing on immediately, the kids, several jail terms in the Neitherworld for both of them at various times for various things…things had just gotten too hard. The crazy adventures and surprise sweetness had just sort of dried up. So here they were; the first legally married live/dead couple in millennia, filing for divorce. They didn't hate each other, but the love and attachment that had seemed immortal just wasn't there anymore, and both had fought too much to say that neither one had tried, though they'd both tried to say it. So now, both were just someone the other used to know.

**Doesn't Remind Me-Audioslave**

What he loved best about his Lyds was that she was his perfect complement; she controlled him when he knew he needed it, (though he'd never admit it) and she didn't remind him he was dead. Well, except when it came up in conversation and she was trying so hard to be funny. She was funny, but she never thought so, so he just laughed and brushed off the small slight. Lydia made him feel alive, and didn't make him remember any of the things everyone else always tried to get him to, his responsibilities to the ghosting community, his job back at the waiting room that he'd been AWOL from for decades, the fact of why he ended up working there for a few centuries anyway. Not that that had been on purpose. How was he supposed to be in control of what he did when he was plastered and near a bridge? But even though he knew he couldn't hide from what he really was forever Lydia made him feel alive, and made him forget how shitty being dead really was, and that was more than worth all the trouble he got into with her.

**Cheated Hearts-Yeah Yeah Yeahs**

She only ever took her wedding ring off when she was high. Just so she didn't lose it in the shuffle Not that she got stoned often, but when you lived with Beetlejuice, there were bound to be illegal little stashes of just about everything laying around. Usually it was just when the weather was shit and the kids were gone and they had nothing better to do than listen to music, blend into it mellowing out and just laying around, and waste the day away messing around in bed and eating bad takeout. Sometimes, Lydia felt a little cheated that Beej didn't just vault them off on a crazy adventure, but even the Ghost with the Most had to relax sometimes, she supposed, so she let it go and just drifted on the haze.

**Beer-Psychostick**

He was drunk. Drunk to the point he sounded like a total idiot. His brain had evacuated hours before and now the hollow inside of his head was buzzing, and his liver would tell him all about it in the morning. Babes was pissed, and so was Doomie, for that matter, but judging by the amount of scratches in the paint, he probably wouldn't blame him for it in the morning. After he got un-hungover. He clung to his bottle of Conquistadore as he stumbled up the stairs. Babes was in the shower. He snuck a peak, proving he didn't need the alcohol to make his tiny little wife any hotter than she already was, six months pregnant and being all _clean_ and everything.

**This Love-Maroon 5**

NOT THE L-WORD! He denied even inside his head. He couldn't be in love with her. It didn't work that way. Sure, he'd tried to marry her-he'd wanted out, and here was the perfect little meal ticket waiting for him and wanting in. Well, neither one of them got what they wanted. Now they were best friends. (Someone _please_ explain to him how the fuck _that_ had happened, because he sure as shit couldn't remember _or_ figure it out.) He'd been with her through the awkward years and the bad break ups with the inevitable puppy love boyfriends, and generally acted like a lovesick, obsessed idiot. NOT THE L-WORD! She was way too young, _and_ way too good for him _and_ alive, and a whole lot of other things he couldn't quite bring himself to say. Denial was a river in his brain and would stay there, as far as he was concerned.

**Drumming Song- Florence and the Machine**

It was a constant beat, quiet, but constant, that she could have mistaken for her heartbeat in her ears if it weren't for the fact that it got deafening when she called for him. It drove her to distraction, and she played loud, random music to get it out of her head, but it never worked. It hurt sometimes, but she relished the pain, and the sounds only got sweeter when they were close. Even swimming, which usually rendered her deaf, did nothing. And when she'd nearly drown that one time, feeling hollow as she was pulled from the water, the sound had stopped for a moment, and she'd felt so alone. When she woke up coughing and hacking with the taste of mold on her tongue and a bug's wing stuck to her lips, the sound started up again as she looked up at a relieved, snaggletooth grin, this time, the sound beating in time with her heart.

**Killing Loneliness-H.I.M.**

Sometimes the memories got to be too much. He knew that and watched out for those days. She'd never told him exactly what had happened to her mom, and he was fine with that, for now, at least. He'd known he'd have to watch out for her when they first met, and so they were always together, him distracting her as best he could with the wackiest adventures he could think up (and a few that just fell into his lap.) He'd caught her the first time with half the bottle of pills down already, her skin starting to tinge blue at the edges. He'd poured some vile concoction down her throat and forced her to throw it all up, and then dragged her back to the Neitherworld to recuperate. The next couple of times he took her to his Ma's place. His Ma was good with stuff like that, and Beetlejuice wasn't about to lose the one person that kept him from jumping off into other realms that could get him exorcized. His Babes kept the loneliness away, held it at bay and was in fact tearing it apart so it didn't bother him as much any more. He tried his best to do the same for her.

**Better Dig Two- The Band Perry**

The fact that she loved him so much scared her sometimes. Right now, he was snoring, propped up on the couch, and she'd been hit with how endearing he'd looked, and her gut had twisted…he was in the living world now, but she knew it wouldn't last forever. With Beej being who he was, Lydia knew it was only a matter of time before he messed up and got sent back permanently or even exorcized. And it terrified her. She knew if they pulled him away from her, she'd follow him, by whatever means she could, even if it meant ending it. She hadn't thought of doing so in years, but the thought of losing her husband and best friend was too much.

He'd woken up to her bawling her eyes out on the bed, and when he'd asked her what was wrong, she'd clung to him and begged him to do his damnedest not to leave her. Completely dumbfounded (how could he leave her? She was his Lyds, there'd never be anyone else and he'd never get bored of her, and the whole marriage thing was eternally binding, anyway,) Beetlejuice had just held her and promised until she fell asleep.

**I Miss You-blink 182**

They'd fought again. He couldn't even remember over what…something to do with her dad and him being…himself. And she hadn't spoken to him in over a week. What could he say? He'd gone soft, and he missed her, damn it! He couldn't get her off his mind, and so, he'd found his way to her mirror, trying to apologize. He flattered her with little notes hidden in her schoolbooks, convinced a few spiders to invade the corners of her ceiling and weave some really fantastic webs, and all in all just made an ass out of himself trying to get her to speak with him. She wasn't quite ready to yet, but the last note had made her smile

**Anthem-Good Charlotte**

Lydia got tired of people telling her she had it good. She knew her dad was loaded, even if he had squirreled most of it away. She knew she had talent. She even, to some degree, knew she was pretty easy on the eyes, though that particular facet of herself had taken Beetlejuice about six months to pound into her head. The thing was, she didn't care. She liked dressing in black and reading Stephen King and being morbid. She liked being different. She couldn't stand blending in. With Beetlejuice she could be herself, but that was about it. What was so wrong with being different out there in the rest of the world.

**Grandfather, DIE!-Stephen Lynch**

Lydia giggled as Beetlejuice hummed the mean spirited song under his breath. It'd been about six months since her grandpa had passed away, and she supposed she'd gotten comfortably enough in the fact that he'd passed on that she could joke about it now. She was just glad Beej had waited as long as he did…sometimes he had absolutely no idea of how human feelings worked, but he'd made her laugh, so she supposed this time, his terrible sense of humor worked.

**Angry Birds-The Key of Awesome**

She'd fed it to a sandworm.

The one thing that kept him out of trouble with it's hypnotic powers, and she'd _thrown it to a fucking sandworm!_ For the first hour or so, he didn't even what to say, and just glared at her.

Then he sat seething on the couch for a week, tossing the animated, tweeting maniacs at her from the cushions of his moldy prison.

Then, about eight days in, Donny dropped by and dropped off the pests. Rigel went right to the kitchen to raid the fridge (because Donny kept absolutely no decently nasty food in his house) but a little blond toerag by the name of Lae climbed onto his lap and curled up in it. Something he realized she hadn't been able to do when he'd been upside down on the ceiling with that smartphone glued to his thumbs.

Remind him to thank Lyds and that damned sandworm.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Take Back-Adam Lambert**

They'd had another huge fight. Of course they'd had another huge fight. He'd had the best opportunity in years to prank a huge crowd, and had taken it. It was just her and her step-mom's gallery. It wasn't even a grand opening or anything, and none of the art had been damaged. And it was on Halloween. How was he supposed to resist filling the sprinkler system with blood (well, it turned to corn syrup when the cops showed up,) and posing as a murder victim in the water tank? He'd gone 'mannequin' when the cops had shown up, as well; wasn't that enough? It was only a joke. But no, Lyds had blown up at him, saying all he ever thought about was himself and his stupid pranks, never mind that this party had been a huge step for her and Delia. He tried to talk her down, but just wound up driving the subject into the ground. And then his mouth had gotten away from him and he'd accused her of using him as a distraction when it was convenient, but heaven forbid he be himself any other time. She'd gone silent and paler than he'd ever seen her, slapped him as hard as she could (which was pretty damn hard considering how small she was) and walked away.

**Crunchy Frog-The Monty Python Group**

Lydia stared at the box of chocolates he'd surprised her with. Each little piece was wrapped in crinkly cellophane that looked like bug wings and had names like "Ram's Bladder Cup" and "Cockroach Cluster" and "Anthrax Ripple" and "Cherry Fondle." That last one had seemed normal until she'd seen the wrapper wriggling and tiny hands undulating on the treat. There was a little, adorably frog shaped one labeled "Crunchy Frog." there were little bumps on it that certainly _looked_ like rice crispies.

One bite and a gallon of water later, with Beetlejuice cackling on the ceiling proved they weren't.

**Jack's Lament-Danny Elfman**

He was good at what he did. No one could deny that. Whether it was terrifying the living, tormenting the weird folks in the Neitherworld, bumping off a pest or two for a client, or just fucking with the poor ghosts in the waiting room (either inside the room itself or just screwing their paperwork beyond recognition, though admittedly, he hadn't done that in about century or so…) he was damn good at what he did. Too good, in fact. He had no competition for the position of Afterlife's Leading A-hole. Juno's fucking with him only entertained him for so long, and there was only so much she could do. He was, unequivocally, unimaginably, horrendously bored. Maybe it was time to try something a little different. Maybe it was finally time to try and break OUT.

**I Love It- Icono Pop**

Her life had been so hectic lately she didn't know what to do. Wrecking her car had jostled something loose in her head, and the next thing she knew, she was at her apartment, tossing her things into a bags and throwing it into a friend's truck. She was done. Her job sucked, her boss was a misogynistic prick stuck in the seventies, and she was done! She sped the eighty miles to Winter River in forty five minutes, somehow didn't get herself killed, and burst through the doors. Her parents weren't home, so she shouted for Beetlejuice as she stormed up the stairs. He was greeted with a garbage bag of her clothes to the face as she laughed, telling him frantically that she was finally ready to take up his offer of moving in with him. The poltergeist was sure she'd lost her mind.

**Hello, Young Lovers-Rogers and Hammerstein **

He fucking hated that song. With a fucking passion. If he could find the bastards, he would rip Rogers and Hammerstein both new ones and then sew them together for the collective horror, just for that damned fucking song. Juno thought it was hilarious to play it on a continuous loop that only he could hear whenever he and Lyds had an appointment…or he wound up in court. He'd torn up the old bat's office looking for the recording, but it did no good. He'd sworn to rip out the lead actress's vocal chords if he could ever find out her name.

**Awakening-Danny Lohner**

He only ever admitted it to himself when he was alone and far away from his wife. It wasn't often, but every now and again, something would trigger it and he'd look back and couldn't help but miss it.

He was the Ghost with the Most, damn it, but even he could…sometimes…miss being alive. Miss being human.

Sometimes on their little getaways, he'd look at her, and she'd be freezing-because fuck him if the Neitherworld wasn't always cold, no matter what powers he nestled around her-and there was nothing he could physically do about it, other than take her Topside to warm up. Or when he'd notice she'd aged, and he hadn't, and just couldn't stand it anymore. But he'd never admit it to anyone but himself

**How Far We've Come- Matchbox 20**

They were stuck in traffic and Beetlejuice was bored. He could hear Doomie panting from the heat, and even Jacques and Ginger were starting to suffer. Lyds sat in the driver's seat, sweating just a little and smiling as she nodded to the songs on the radio. Beetlejuice's eys fell on her and wouldn't leave. She'd grown up, and he could tell that she was starting to drift away from him. He knew something would have to change. Their friendship had evolved over the years. He couldn't actually believe how much he depended on her-he knew if she left that his whole world would burn to cinders. He loved her. He refused to admit it. Everyday he felt like he was waking up to the apocalypse, if she chose that day to end it, but so far, every day was like the last. They both pretended they didn't feel it. The poltergeist looked back at himself. He knew he held her back, but he couldn't imagine life without her. He just hoped his next move wouldn't scare her away forever. They'd come a long way…maybe they could go a bit further.

**Superstitious-Stevie Wonder**

Of course she wasn't superstitious. There was a difference between believing that breaking mirrors caused bad luck and summoning crazy poltergeists out of them. And she owned a black cat, walked under ladders all the time (She was short, it was convenient) and she refused to knock on wood just so she didn't whammy herself when she said something. Still, it was kind of fun to exploit the whole superstition thing in other people who didn't know any better. Like Delia. Her step mother was ditzy enough that Lydia had, with only a little help from aforementioned poltergeist, convinced her that it was bad luck to sculpt in anything other than pink (which Delia hated) on any days other than Monday, Friday, and Sunday. Just because she wasn't Beetlejuice didn't mean she didn't have her own little pranky streak.

**Running-Adam Lambert**

He didn't remember much about his life. He dreamed about it sometimes, but all he could ever remember was running. He wasn't sure what he was running from, but he knew he'd done a lot of it when he was alive. And now he did the same thing, but he knew why at least. He ran from complacence, from boredom, from responsibility. He'd seen just about everything there was to see once it came through the afterlife, but he never absorbed any of it. He knew if he did…he refused to grow complacent and pass on, even if it meant missing things. But he was getting tired of always running, always plotting and scheming and generally fucking around. He was always going to run a little bit, he knew, But Lydia was slowly slowing him down and making him see things for once.

**Out of My League-Stephen Speaks**

She took his breath away every time he saw her-or would have, if he breathed. Every little movement of hers had meaning to him, and he knew what eery little flip of her hair and bat of her eyes meant. He loved going over to her side and hanging out with her. He didn't think she felt the same way…she was so much younger than him…but it didn't really matter. He hid how he felt from her most of the time…there had been that rather hard to explain shrine in his head…but since he didn't really have any other friends and she was young, it eas easy to write it off. Sometimes he shook a little at how strong the feelings could be, but he really didn't need anyone else, so as long as he could stay her friend, he was fine.

**Walking On Air-Kerli**

She was creepy, and she knew it. In New York it hadn't mattered, but here…well, she stood out, and sometimes it made her miserable. By the time she met Beetlejuice, she'd barely had any confidence, but that had changed. The folks in the Neitherworld loved her, and she felt legitimized, and they encouraged her talents, never thinking anything too strange or morbid or creepy. She was IN, without dying, and she was accepted and cared for…maybe even loved. She felt like she was walking on air whenever she crossed over, and it boosted her esteem so much that she soon made friends on the real world, accepted herself, and followed her dreams. She never tried to be anything she wasn't. When she was older and her photography and music and fashion lines took off, she made sure to give credit to her friends on the other side, even if no one in the living world believed her.


End file.
